Maximizing the experiences of an extrarelational affair: An unconventional approach to a common social convention

Abstract

Extrarelational affairs persist throughout the United States despite prevailing social proscriptions against them. In this article, we argue that psychotherapy stands to benefit from its neighboring discipline, anthropology, by adopting a nonjudgmental, neutral position toward this ubiquitous human phenomenon. Two case studies are presented that exemplify how affairs can occur while minimizing the harm done to the marital couple and maximizing the benefits to the extrarelational couple. We consider the conceptualization of the couples' motives for pursuing an affair, as well as the challenges, treatment directions, and the outcome of the affair. We advocate that clients would be better served by therapists maintaining a relatively objective, neutral stance toward client behavior, rather than judging them in accordance with moral values that may not be shared by the clients. © 2005 Wiley Periodicals, Inc. J Clin Psychol/In Session 61: 1421–1428, 2005.