RECREATING MOTHER: The Consolidation of “Heterosexual” Gender Identification in the Young Son of Homosexual Men


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In psychotherapy, the 4 1/2-year-old son of two fathers began immediately to contend with the unmourned loss of “Mommy, “his first babysitter, precipitously fired when he was 2 1/2; he then created his own mother figure with whom to take up the task of becoming a boy/man with a woman as his primary love object. Several factors, including internal “working models,” are described as having determined this stance preoedipally. Oedipal dynamics are also discussed, and questions raised about when father pairs should disclose to the child the nature of their commitment.