David Lykken’s target article assesses the causes of crime and advocates a controversial ‘cure’—parental licensure. Although Lykken gets many of the facts about criminals right, ultimately the disease metaphor breaks down. Crime requires three things—motivated offenders (‘criminals’), suitable targets or victims, and the absence of capable guardians to prevent the act. Typical of medical model approaches, failure to consider the convergence in time and space of the three necessary elements for crime results in a misdiagnosis. In this invited commentary, I briefly note three reasons why Lykken’s cure, along with the medical model in general, is unlikely to bear fruit.