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When Curiosity Breeds Intimacy: Taking Advantage of Intimacy Opportunities and Transforming Boring Conversations


  • This research was supported by National Institute of Mental Health grant MH-73937 and the Center for Consciousness and Transformation at George Mason University to Todd B. Kashdan. We thank William Breen, Daniel Terhar, Anjali Mishra, and Kate Doherty for their assistance with the survey design and data collection for Studies 1 and 3.
  • Note: Corrections added on 6 January 2012 after first publication online on 19 October 2011: The page number for this article should be Page 1369–1401 (not 1067–1099), and have been corrected in the online version of this article.

Correspondence concerning this article should be addressed to Todd B. Kashdan, Department of Psychology, MS 3F5, George Mason University, Fairfax, VA 22030. Email:


Curious people seek knowledge and new experiences. In 3 studies, we examined whether, when, and how curiosity contributes to positive social outcomes between unacquainted strangers. Study 1 (98 college students) showed that curious people expect to generate closeness during intimate conversations but not during small talk; less curious people anticipated poor outcomes in both situations. We hypothesized that curious people underestimate their ability to bond with unacquainted strangers during mundane conversations. Studies 2 (90 college students) and 3 (106 college students) showed that curious people felt close to partners during intimate and small-talk conversations; less curious people only felt close when the situation offered relationship-building exercises. Surprise at the pleasure felt during this novel, uncertain situation partially mediated the benefits linked to curiosity. We found evidence of slight asymmetry between self and partner reactions. Results could not be attributed to physical attraction or positive affect. Collectively, results suggest that positive social interactions benefit from an open and curious mind-set.