ABSTRACT: Mothers having difficulty with breastfeeding often find a lack of acknowledgement of the normal ambivalence about many aspects of the early mothering experience. Mothers, who need themselves to be nurtured, instead find people anxious to give advice which is biased by their own experience or dogmas. The “helpers” too easily conclude that what worked for them, or what seems “natural,” is correct for mothers in general. They are quick to make negative judgments about women who do not follow the idealized model.