This essay presents an analysis of violence in intimate life that draws on multiple theoretical perspectives. These include but are not limited to feminist theory, object relations theory, systems theory, narrative and social constructionist theory, and neurobiology. It is argued that it is possible to be effective in ending violence and abuse through a modified couples treatment format that addresses relationship issues, individual trauma, and biological vulnerability while simultaneously taking a clear, moral position that violence, abuse, and inequality are intolerable in any form.